How to reduce the risk of sexualized violence during dating?
Date rape is a manifestation of sexualized violence that occurs during a romantic, friendly, work and other meeting or date with familiar, often trusted, persons. People who know each other arrange a meeting, decide to walk, dance, talk and spend time together, while the abuser has planned the rape in advance. Often, in such a situation, the person subjected to sexualized violence is in a state of psychological freezing, because they had completely different expectations from the meeting, and their trust system is compromised. This is the most unexpected and painful thing for a person subjected to sexualized violence.
There are a few tips you had better follow before the date:
- Tell a trusted person about your date, specifying the date, place and time of the person who you will meet.
- Plan ahead for warning signs that will alert a trusted person that you need help.
- Arrange the meeting in a public place that you know.
- Check if your phone has balance and charge.
- Plan your return home in advance; have enough money to get a taxi back home; alert a trusted person of the end of the date and the approximate time you will arrive home.
- Do not schedule the meeting at home or at work.
- Keep up your vigilance and self-control, avoid going to unfamiliar places or trying alcohol.
- Do not leave your personal belongings unattended, especially your phone and bag, as well as your drink (to avoid the addition of any substances in your drink).
- You can stop the meeting at any time. If you feel discomfort, anxiety or danger, you should not fall victim to polite manners and go on with the meeting.
- Talk about your boundaries, what is acceptable and desirable for you, and what is not.
- You can make a noise any time you will feel that there is danger, and you need people’s help․
- Always keep in mind that sexualized violence is always the fault and responsibility of the abuser.